Nepali morning habits comtemplated

Junior, the neighbour dog that has been adopted by the team is now probably the only dog in our little town sporting a pink leather collar. Dog here are of course never on a leash but I must admit he looked kind of snazzy this morning, coming with me and J on our morning walk. Morning for us that is, being out by 7 am. Morning nepali style is more like getting up when the sun gets up, around halv 5 or 5. This is also the time when people gather to play football. And the army and police also do their morning run through town then. At 5?!

The other morning at 0715 we received a phone call from two members from a partner organization, asking if they could come over for a tea and a chat. We were all sleeping then and there was no use explaining our decadent western habits either. In the end they came over at 0830 when we all dragged ourselves out of bed, maybe(probably)wondering why we still looked so tired.

Our neighbors have a young boy from the Madeshi community working for them(which is very common and hard to get use to. Children working than is, but that is life here). Part of his job is to collect flowers, usually this time of year big red ones,for the morning puja(ritual)and this is how I usually wake up. Hearing him in the garden at sunrise. So different from back home.

Teej celebration with the DAFUO women

Teej is the fasting festival of women in Nepal. It falls in the month of August or early September. Married women observe Teej fast to honor Lord Shiva and for long and healthy life of their husband. Unmarried girls also observe fast on this day for a good husband. Teej celebrations lasts for three pious days. Traditional dances and songs form an important feature of Teej celebrations. Red color is considered auspicious for women observing Teej fast and so most of them dress up in red or bridal clothes.

Conflict widow - a life in mourning

The concept of conflict widows was not a new one for me. In a theorethical sense I knew that in Nepal, being in a vagueishly defined post conflict socio-economic state, many (I would even say most)single women associated with the death of their husbands suffer social exclusion, violence from their husbands’ families and limited options for income generation.

Then reality hit. Not only I think, because after eight months in Nepal have I started to get a deeper sense of how women without men are looked upon.On a deeper level, I have also started hearing what the Nepali activist women tell us when we meet them in the field. How they are not respected, often also seen as "out of hand", not seen as real women. This is in large part due to the conservative trend of the still heavily patriarchal societies in Nepal, which see a distinct ‘place’ for women as homemakers and child-raisers. Stepping out from this ‘norm’ can be dangerous for women, especially when they are seen to be ‘interfering’ and championing the cause for other women, e.g. in domestic violence cases

Being looked upon with suspicion is thus common. Or as fair game. Being accused of being a boxsi is no joke either. We come across cases where accusations of witchcraft result in women being killed.

What really hits hard is that even wanting to be independent is just not really on here. And being a widow as result from the conflict makes it extra complicated. The social constructs that limits a Nepali widow have been, and are still hard for me to wrap my head around. I see them sometimes. And they are easy to identify. Any age, completely dressed in white they are suppose to live the rest if their life in compliance with whoever(family members or associates) that take pity on them. They are not allowed to get remarried and they are expected to stay dressed in white for the rest of their days. Somehow it seems that it is their fault that their husband died.

But in our village a woman, let's call her Deepa has against the odds kept the business after her husband passed away. It is hard to describe how unusual this is. She runs her little restaurant/tea /bar out of her home. Guests come in, have a chia(tea), some grilled meat or a standard dhalbhat (rice, lentils, vegetables) or have a couple of beers or more than a few cups of rakhsi(strong and nice local home made liquour). They use the bed as a chair, cigarett butts end up on the floor and I often wondered how the young teenage daughter is fairing in all this. If she has learnt to stand up for herself. I don't know if her mother was(or is)associated with a Maoist party. Or an armed group. Or if her husband was. I dont't know what the talk of the town is but from talking to our partners and supporters I know that she is an abnormality. And in my heart I feel sad. Why is it that a women in Nepal still are likely to be punished for her husbands political activities, is seen as a fallen women because she has no man looking after her? And I wonder about the future of her daughter. Will she not be able to marry? Or will she be forced to marry somebody, anybody that will have her? Despite the fact that her father is dead.

Celebrating Krishna Janmashtami

...and Hindu God Krishnas birthday! The Pahadi temple has now palyed the same catchy tunes for two days.