Discipline dilemma-to beat or not to beat children

Having a well needed weekend off, I am leafing though VOW(Voice of Women)a Nepali magazine and I read:

Discipline is an uncomfortable element that exist between parents and children. When your children through a tantrum, when they don't listen to you, you might as well want to give them a slap or two because the belief that 'beating children for behaving badly is normal' is entrenched in our culture. News that students have been severely beaten for the violation of rules at school continues to make headlines.

The article then proceeds by offering some effective disciplinary actions(not beating)and give reasons for not beating such as the child will learn violence is an accepted way to solve problems..

I don't know how to react to this. On one hand I think it is positive that this is being talked about in a feature article but the major part of me just feel sad that in(I imagine)"modern" magazine for women this is not a subject from the past. At lest they are discussing it.

*I continue leafing through the magazine*

I am amazed at the number of ads marketing a whitening product. Whitening as in making your skin whiter. And not only to make you face "five shades whiter" but also your tan line from your t-shirt or you legs or whatever part of your body that has been exposed to the sun. There are even product to whiten your armpits(as in your deodorant)! AND there is a feature story about a competition sponsored by the company Fair and Lovely and the winner do indeed long fair and lovely. Maybe I react so much to this because I am of a pale/pink constitution myself. A fair skinned Sweden ends up in a country filled with amazingly beautiful women who i can not for my life understand why they would like to change it but maybe it is equally strange to understand the tanning industry back home.

The articles on Urticaria(hives),Why Men Want Taken Women, Breast Power exercises, self defense against somebody trying to choke you from behind, Love and Sex in the time of pornography could have been found in any magazine back home but then I come across a question from an anonymous women. She needs marital advice as she has had three daughters and her husband is very angry at her for not producing a son. She has just given birth and he is blaming her. She feels very weak and don't think her body can take another birth. They live(very commonly)with his family and she writes that her in laws are supportive of her. The answer comes: look after yourself and your little one and please note that the inability to produce a son lies mostly in the male chromosomes. He wont probably listen to that though. We are happy you have a supportive family, best of luck.

So, I am again learning that just when I think I understand a bit of this culture I realize there is so much to learn. And maybe also accepting that there are things I actually do not like. At all.

The walking Blood Bank

Gopi Lai is a 53 year old fire fighter from Nepalganj Fire Brigade who faced a dilemma 25 years ago. His brother, Banney Khans wife was giving birth at home and she needed blood. Gobi Lai was scared, never had he given blood but he also realized that if he didn't help the baby and the mother would die. Only a young man in his late teens he decided to donate blood, the family was saved and Gopi was hooked on donating. In face he has devoted his entire life to giving blood and is known in his hometown simply as the Blood bank. On February 18th 2010 he gave his blood for the 123d time!

Once in a while my path is crossed by somebody that makes me stop and think about the umpteen ways of spending our short time here on earth. Gobi says in Republica that he sometimes travel across the border to India to donate, has never taken any money for his services and will continue donating blood every three months when his body is producing new blood cells. And maybe life is very simple sometimes. Gopi Lai realized he could do something good, didn't need the money so he simply did it.

Being a gay man in Nepal Act I

Sometimes I forget how hard the gay community fought(and is still fighting)to get their civil rights in the so-called developed world.

Blue Diamond Society in Nepal just entered the barricades and describes themselves as follows:

Blue Diamond Society (BDS) was founded in 2001 in an effort to address the needs of MSMs (an umbrella term to include both men who have sex with men whom identify as gay and those men who have sex with men whom identify as heterosexual because they are the "penetrator") in Nepal. It is Nepal's only organization for and by gay men.

...and this is what they do:

Since its inception, BDS' efforts have focused on HIV/AIDS/STI prevention and outreach education. At present, BDS conducts the only HIV/AIDS/STI prevention program in Nepal that targets the MSM community. In addition to a weekly clinic that offers free HIV/AIDS/STI check-ups and treatment, BDS provides a weekly social support group, a weekly training on safe-sex practices, a weekly queer or safe-sex film show, and a 24-hour drop-in center. BDS organizes and participates in many local community events to raise awareness and discussion of MSMs, sexualities, genders and sexual health practices in Nepal.


A former volunteer for the Blue Diamond Society writes, "When Nepalis ask me where I volunteer, I tell them I work with an organization for and by gay Nepali men. The response to my answer is uniform. Their eyes widen as their face takes on various looks of shock, amusement and curiosity. The standard reply is, "Gay men in Nepal? I didn't know there were any.""

This vignette is representative of the struggle gay Nepali males face. Many Nepalis deny the existence of homosexuals in their community, often claiming it is a "western import." This denial, compounded with a refusal to discuss sexualities, genders and safe-sex health practices, creates enormous psychological consequences for gay men and health consquences for the entire Nepali community. Gay Nepali men are often pressured into a heterosexual marriage by their families. Many lead double lives in order to be true to their sexuality and selves. Because there are no "safe" spaces for these men, the double life of a gay Nepali man often includes having sex with MSMs in dangerous, unsanitary conditions. MSMs, forced to have sex in hidden locations where the use of contraceptives is not convenient, are likely to go unprotected (the use of condoms in Nepal is rare across sexualities).

A land without constitution

Our little town is most certainly not the most cosmopolitan town in the world but rather a sleepy, dusty if quite charming place. Buffalo's and goats venture into the neighbors garden on occasion and are chased out by the older didi(sister). I see her coming running out sometimes holding onto her frilly umbrella, the usual protection from the sun over here. White bulls, cows are also usual sights in the streets and thus men and beast live together in a seemingly orderly but slightly anarchistic manner.

So when there is a biggish Maoist rally here, as is the situation in time of writing, it breaks the usual calmness and I am always amazed at the number of people that participate in a rally. The Maoists organize themselves (even here) according to a militant structure and their manifestation and rallies are therefor an unfamiliar sight to me, them using the whole street and walking in formation.

As far as the political situation goes, this is what the local news report: The Maoists have taken to the streets, rallied on May 1st all over the country and proclaimed an indefinite strike coming into affect today. The negotiations with the ruling parties(see below)were unfruitful. The agenda included trying to resolve different views of the constitution writing, the progression of the peace process and how power sharing should look. Not an easy task.

The interim constitution expires on May 28 and what happens then is anybody's guess.

The media call it a political crisis. Maoist Vice Chairman Dr Baburam Battarai is quoted in Republica saying that "there will not be any agreement till the prime minister resigns" but adds that talks are still possible despite the party's proclaimed aim not to end the strike until the government is toppled. PM Kumar Nepal went on records saying that he wouldn't step down and that the government could only be changed though due constitutional and parliamentary process.

What the future will bring nobody knows. All I know for now is that a political rally is taking place outside my window and something in me is really thankful for the passion that makes people take to the street in the name in change. But needless to say, my wishes for this war torn country is of course a peaceful solution to all the strife and confusion that even a foreigner like myself is sensing right now.

Ok. Still with me? You can stop reading now or follow me on a little walk through the ruling parties of present day Nepal.

One of the ruling parties is the National Congress, or NC.
I call them socialist and they are indeed part of a bigger international socialist network(as is the Swedish Social democratic party). At least they are left, this I know. NC rule together with the communist party CPN-UML, united Marxist-Leninist and smaller parties in a coalition but they are the two main political power bears here in the former kingdom of Nepal.

Nepal has altogether 43 ministers, honorable Ministers and State Ministers including the Prime Minister. Some of them have interesting sounding fields of responsibility(and there is even according to the governments homepage one minister without a portfolio) such as minister of Tourism and civil aviation, Peace and Reconstruction, General Administration(Minister of bureaucracy? I am not being ironic, I would really like to know). There is also the department of Women, Children and Social Welfare that we have come in contact with even though I feel I need more knowledge of what they actually do.

I can hear the speeches continue in the local chowk(market)down the road and I wish I could understand. Quite peaceful affair by the sounds of it, some authority present but no clashes just people demonstrating for something they believe in.

Don't rain on my parade, the Maoist said

Coming back from Surkhet yesterday, in our old beat up jeep, we met bus after bus filled with people waving the Maoist flag. Not only buses actually, but also motorcycles with big red flags attached to the front more often than not with two youngish men on their way to execersice their democratic rights to demonstrate on Labour day, May 1st.

125,000 people attended the massgathering in Kathmandu alone yesterday, vowing to stay on the streets until the government is toppled.